Look, I'm sorry, but it's Monday. And on Monday I must sit on your face. It's nothing personal, it's just how my schedule works out. 🤷♀️
2023-04-24 17:10:22 +0000 UTC View Post
Yes, I am (still) on set all day today. No, that is not my guitar--it's Steely Dan's, duh. 🎸🐓
2023-04-23 21:55:49 +0000 UTC View Post
On Sundays I wear pink and fight aliens. 🤜👽
2023-04-23 16:54:02 +0000 UTC View Post
On set all day today (yes, again), someone please come give me a foot massage, these feet are whimpering 🥺
2023-04-22 18:18:55 +0000 UTC View Post
Alice called the search team for me, because *she cares when I'm lost in the woods and freezing to death* **unlike some people I know.** 😤 (This is a running joke that started on Thursday, calm down. Breathe in and out of this paper bag. I *know* you care ❤️. That's it, breathe slower. Panic attack averted! 🫂)
2023-04-22 16:52:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Wow, way to fail to send the search party. I'm going to freeze to death, thanks. 🥶
2023-04-21 16:50:09 +0000 UTC View Post
You know that saying, "Not all who wander are lost"? 🗺️ Uh, that's not true in this case. Send a search party, tell them I'll be by the big rock. 🗻
2023-04-20 17:13:34 +0000 UTC View Post
Forbidden fruit? No, it's just an orange. Calm down already, jeeeez.🙄
2023-04-19 17:16:10 +0000 UTC View Post
I'm feeling nature-y this week. *Au naturale.* At one with the wild. Connecting with my primitive roots. Rolling in mud. Um. Sowing my oats? Planting my corn? Massaging my waterbuffalo? Oh crap, help, I've gone too far with this nature thing. 😭
2023-04-18 16:46:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Alison Rey and I are having a deep conversation about...
2023-04-17 17:15:03 +0000 UTC View Post
are we going for a swim or nah? 💦
2023-04-16 16:36:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Hard at work or hardly working? (Definitely the former, sigh 😴) I'm filming season three of Primary all weekend so I'll be in and out (but mostly out--this porn ain't gonna film itself! 😝)
2023-04-15 19:51:35 +0000 UTC View Post
Okay, this is going to sound like a joke, but it isn't. 😬 Can someone please explain what "apple bottom jeans" are 🍎? I get the boots with the fur bit, but this apple bottom thing is a *mystery* that has haunted me for years 👻. And I don't want to google it because that's cheating.
2023-04-15 17:13:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Frisk Me Friday! Officer, I swear, I'm not smuggling...
2023-04-14 16:57:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Yes, I did inspire Rodin's "The Thinker." I'm older than I look. *Much* older. 🗿
2023-04-13 17:08:14 +0000 UTC View Post
This is my outfit for when I crush your head with my thighs.
2023-04-12 16:38:05 +0000 UTC View Post
So luscious, so round, like two perfect...
2023-04-11 17:13:45 +0000 UTC View Post
I understand that this is an unusual office for a therapist. Yes, most therapists don't have Snorlax for a chair. But I need you to be open to the process. Are you willing to be open?
2023-04-10 17:06:51 +0000 UTC View Post
huh. how did those get there? ❓🤔❓
2023-04-09 17:24:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Can't wait to get out the the beach again! It has so much *sand!* 🥵🥵🥵
2023-04-08 17:16:18 +0000 UTC View Post
🚀Casey's Rebill Alliance🚀! Your April coupon has arrived! It might be a little... on fire. In like, a bad way (there was an accident... 🔥🧸🔥) *BUT!* It still works. So check your messages!
2023-04-07 20:45:01 +0000 UTC View Post
This Friday, I ask you the eternal question that haunts all of our waking moments. *Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?* 🍍🌊🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
2023-04-07 17:10:05 +0000 UTC View Post
I really wish I could remember what I was doing when this picture was taken, but I don't 🤔. Thoughts? Theories? *Conspiracy* theories? 😱😱
2023-04-06 17:14:22 +0000 UTC View Post
VIP Account is ***LIVE*** 👉 www.onlyfans.com/caseycalvertvip and I have a quiz for you below!! *Perks!* ⭐ One free video everyday! ⭐ Random fun and/or sexy BTS! ⭐ Discounts or additional treats for promos! ⭐ VIP-only access to livestream post-shows! ⭐ 25% off everything on my menu! www.caseycalvert.com/onlyfansmenu 🌳 Secret treehouse access! The VIP account has been open since 4/1 and all the PPV videos that have been messaged here have been *free* over on the VIP 🥳! (If you were a super stan and bought them all, it would've cost $53 for all four and the monthly sub fee on VIP is $50 soooooo in four days the sub paid for itself 😱) 🤔 ***The "Should I Join the VIP Page" Quiz!*** 🤔 **1. Can you comfortably afford $50/month?** A. Yup! 🤩 B. Yes, basically. 😁 C. Not really... 🙃 D. HAHAHA, no. 😅 **2. Do you love my videos?** A. YESSSSS 🥵 B. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. 😏 C. Occasionally! 🤪 D. I'm more of a photo guy. 📸 **3. Do you like my livestreams and buy when I do fun promos like my cupcakes, cookies, or bundles?** A. I live for livestreams and butt-desserts and bundles!😋 B. I love two of those things, one of them isn't really for me. 🍑 C. I love *one* of those things, the other two... eh? 🧐 D. Those things are out of my budget or interests. 🥸 **4. How do you feel about pokemon?** A. I cuddle with a magikarp every night. 😍 B. I used to play! 😀 C. What-a-mon? 🥱 D. I *cuddle* with a magikarp every night. 😈 *Your Results!* 🥰 If you answered mostly As and Bs, you should join the VIP page! 😘 If you answered mostly Cs and Ds, you're probably good right here! ❤️ If you don't really care about any of the above but you want to be a supportive fan *(and can afford it!!!)* then you should join the VIP page!
2023-04-05 18:30:43 +0000 UTC View Post
This pic came out way more... bovine than intended. 🐄
2023-04-05 16:38:03 +0000 UTC View Post
I wish I made any actual money from PornHub, they have the best merch 😭 Instead I gotta pay rent by....
2023-04-04 17:11:17 +0000 UTC View Post
So, uh, what did *you* get up to over the weekend? 🤫😳
2023-04-03 17:07:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Some many clothes and the only thing I can pick is option paralysis. 🤷♀️
2023-04-02 17:04:14 +0000 UTC View Post
This cold is kicking my ass 🥴. Send chicken soup and like a whole pan of brownies pls
2023-04-01 23:46:25 +0000 UTC View Post
My VIP page (www.onlyfans.com/caseycalvertvip) launches *today!* Which ad was the best? I'm going to pin it to the top my feed! 🥳
2023-04-01 17:05:51 +0000 UTC View Post
